Battle of the Bilge

Defying Conventional Wisdom

The Army has released a statement this morning that they are, once again, changing the standard headgear for Soldiers. Following their decision last year to change from greens to blues in their dress uniforms, today saw an announcement that there is a change to headgear as well. In an homage to the days of horse cavalry, the black beret will be replaced by a dark blue Stetson:

No, not really

This move challenges public (and rival military branches) perceptions that the Army has no sense of humor.

A New Era

From the announcement:

“We figure the Stetson will be popular with the troops,” said Sgt. Maj. Bob S. Stone, Army Uniform Board headgear task force president. “It’s been a while since we have changed the headgear, so it’s time. Plus a Stetson is functional and down right American.”

But reminiscent of the controversial switch from the garrison cap to the black beret, the Army faces opposition from one community deeply opposed to losing its special identity with the Stetson – the Armor branch.

“Why in the heck are they doing to us what they did to the snake-eaters?” asked one officer familiar with the board’s deliberations. “If you ain’t Cav, you ain’t ought to be wearing a Cav hat. That just ain’t right.”

But the sheer functionality of the wide-brimmed American-classic Stetson won over the majority of the board.

“You can keep the sun out of your eyes, the hat won’t melt to your head on a sunny day, and female Soldiers can tuck long hair under a Stetson a lot easier than with the current beret,” says Stone. “Plus we’ve already gone back to blue jackets for the service dress uniform. The Stetson actually completes the look.”

A vibrant discussion of the move is taking place on Facebook, with many commentators outraged at the change and the rest fully cognizant of what day it is.

The last line of the press release should have been enough of a clue, but who reads that far in an article?

The Army’s official adoption date of the Stetson will be April Fool’s Day, 2012.

Look forward to seeing this in email form without the last sentence in a few weeks. MOAA will be lobbying the Navy to follow this lead and return to their Cocked Hat roots.

Obviously kidding.

Discussion

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“The wisest have the most authority” – Plato

A Myth, But a Fun One

Sometimes we stumble across old stories about the military that are virtually impossible to corroborate, but make for amusing reads. This story, about a lieutenant commander, J.P. Fyffe, details his exploits and attempt to make a statement about a bad policy that was in place at the time. In August of 1870, as the story goes, LCDR Fyffe was given command of a frigate stationed outside of San Francisco. The policy of the Navy during this era was that the cost of any move one had to make to a new assignment must be handled by the service member and then the costs would be reimbursed after they arrived. After LCDR Fyffe, who lived in Connecticut, attempted to get money for a train ride across the country and was denied, he decided to make the journey entirely on foot and report back to his ‘superiors’ his progress on a daily basis.
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A True Story for Once…

BotB Verdict

Average Number of Times Received Daily at MOAA: 3

Executive Summary

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An excellent tribute from an excellent golfer…
BotB Verdict:

Average Number of Times Received Daily at MOAA: 2

Summary

An email that is circulating quotes the speech that legendary golfer Tiger Woods made during the inauguration ceremonies of President Obama. Woods is the son of Lieutenant Colonel Earl Woods, who retired from the Army after a long career that included two tours of Vietnam as a member of the Green Berets. The text of the speech cited in the email is accurate, although there has been some instances of political commentary in most versions, either for or against his not mentioning President Obama. There are a few improbable statements in the most common email cited here, but the speech itself has not been altered. Full story after the break…

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